You found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You said ”I do” but will you say ”I move’?”
We asked some Nigerian men if they would move into their wives houses after marriage. Their answers are reproduced below:
“First, why would I get married if I don’t have an apartment? I am a proud lion. I bring ladies into my den not the other way round. So NO I won’t move into her house.”- Stephen, 24
“I would move into my wife’s house if she already has one and I don’t. I’d move in if her house was in a better location, and put mine up for rent. It makes no sense to move to Makoko if she already lives in Victoria Island. That will just be stupid.”- Anonymous, 20-something
“A guy is required to get stuff like his apartment ready before he decides to get married. So moving into my wife’s apartment simply shows that I did not plan properly before deciding to start a family. The woman might also send you out whenever she feels like if you get her upset.” Anonymous, 36
“Yes I would. If I’m marrying her, it means we will be one. Marriage requires compromise & partnership. If she has no problem with me moving in, I’m game. And if we can establish that we will support one another, compliment each other’s efforts & not mock one another, fine.” Anonymous, 20-something
“No I won’t. Bottom line is ego. It just doesn’t go with my personality.” Hammed, 27
“I’ll move in with her for logical reasons, i.e she has a house and I don’t and we need to live somewhere.”- Anonymous, 20-something
“Why not? If it is a nice place in a nice area, I’ll move in without thinking twice. Shebi na two of us go pay rent either way? So it’s not an issue.” Korede, 24
“No I wouldn’t. And that’s because I am not ignoring the fact that I am a Yoruba man. A Muslim? Yes. A Yoruba man? Yes.” Folabi, 32
“Why not if it’s the logical thing to do? If her house/apartment is better. If her apartment is closer to her place of work than mine. I have no qualms” Anonymous, 20-something
“Honestly years ago it would have been a straight no but I guess it’s something I could do. Won’t necessarily like it, I guess it’s our house until there is any lack of understanding or respect down the line”- Fuad Davies, 26
“I can only quote the words of our elders. He who has found a wife that can pay the rent has found a good thing.” – Toye, 21
“No. It is a matter of choice. Some can do it, I can’t. For me, it is unacceptable. For me, getting married should be the most defining moment in your life. Being a man for me is taking responsibility of things and that includes food, clothing and shelter. It shows a level of nonchalance in a man.” – Samuel, 24
“Yeah I can, but of course she cant be the proud type. My reason is that the Prophet (Muhammad) married someone richer than him. But she made sense, that’s why he could do it”- Taqwa, 25
“I won’t. Purely sociocultural reasons. That’s the way I have been wired from birth and my Yoruba/African upbringing.”- Anonymous, 20-something
“Her knowing and understanding me fully, like a twin mentally. That’s all I can say. Because I’d rather be on my own than enter her house and later regret it. Bottom line is she should respect me regardless. And she should see something in us that is bigger than the house.”- Oshomah, 26
What would you do?
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