We replaced all the P-words in Princess Vitarah’s viral video with Kitty, and its a riot

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

I’ve been to London to visit the Queen.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you do there?

I frightened a little mouse, under her chair.

James William Elliot wrote this nursery rhyme in good faith, but the way the world has changed, things are not the same as 1805 when it was first published.

Astro Crying

Princess Vitarah, a Nigerian in The Abroad dropped a video that quickly went viral. She calls it Nigerian Pussy.


Youtube has already taken the video down. We don’t know the people that were watching the video that it got to over 100,000 views, but we are sure they don’t have home training. Unlike us.

We would never.

Buhari media chat4

But for the sake of all the righteous people who still want to enjoy the song without the danger of the lyrics probing their ears like a stubby finger, we have replaced some of the times she said the dangerous word with a proper word, Kitty.

This is what it looks like:

“Nigerian kitty is the tightest.”


Tight like needle and things.

“Ghanaian kitty is not.”


Well… no comments.

“Nigerian kitty is the softest.”

cat soft

Muzzbe Agege bread.

“Nigerian kitty is the cream of the crop.”

Cat cream

Ice cream and things.

“Naija Kitty make a nigger wanna pay.”

cat money

Based on subscriptions.

“Kitty so good he don’t wanna let it go.”

cat go

Mr Lover Lover.

“Kitty wetter than the ocean don’t fight it.”

Cat ocean

Drown baby drown.

“Its black on the outside pink on the inside.”

cat black


“Kitty so fat you can see it from the town.”

cat fat

Ikebe super.

“Kitty so wet you’re drowning.”

cat drown

Do not struggle.

“Kitty so wet you need a boat.”

cat boat

Sweet escape.

“Put that kitty on his face like that.”

cat face

Muzzbe makeup.

“Kitty soaking wet you need to put it in the cup.”

Drink up. Drink up.

“Ghanaian Kitty uhmmm its okay (abeg abeg).”

cat skinned

To the left, to the left.

“Lick my kitty cat.”

cat lick

Muzzbe lollipop.


Praise the Lord.

Now, if you still decide to watch the video after we’ve helped you correct the errors in it, may the Lord have mercy on your soul.



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

  1. What did I just watch?! I thought you guys were kidding but nooooooo, you’re not.

    The kid in the video, surely that’s child abuse????

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