Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?
I’ve been to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you do there?
I frightened a little mouse, under her chair.
James William Elliot wrote this nursery rhyme in good faith, but the way the world has changed, things are not the same as 1805 when it was first published.
Princess Vitarah, a Nigerian in The Abroad dropped a video that quickly went viral. She calls it Nigerian Pussy.
Youtube has already taken the video down. We don’t know the people that were watching the video that it got to over 100,000 views, but we are sure they don’t have home training. Unlike us.
We would never.
But for the sake of all the righteous people who still want to enjoy the song without the danger of the lyrics probing their ears like a stubby finger, we have replaced some of the times she said the dangerous word with a proper word, Kitty.
This is what it looks like:
“Nigerian kitty is the tightest.”
Tight like needle and things.
“Ghanaian kitty is not.”
Well… no comments.
“Nigerian kitty is the softest.”
Muzzbe Agege bread.
“Nigerian kitty is the cream of the crop.”
Ice cream and things.
“Naija Kitty make a nigger wanna pay.”
Based on subscriptions.
“Kitty so good he don’t wanna let it go.”
Mr Lover Lover.
“Kitty wetter than the ocean don’t fight it.”
Drown baby drown.
“Its black on the outside pink on the inside.”
“Kitty so fat you can see it from the town.”
“Kitty so wet you’re drowning.”
Do not struggle.
“Kitty so wet you need a boat.”
“Put that kitty on his face like that.”
“Kitty soaking wet you need to put it in the cup.”
Drink up. Drink up.
“Ghanaian Kitty uhmmm its okay (abeg abeg).”
To the left, to the left.
“Lick my kitty cat.”
Praise the Lord.
Now, if you still decide to watch the video after we’ve helped you correct the errors in it, may the Lord have mercy on your soul.
What did I just watch?! I thought you guys were kidding but nooooooo, you’re not.
The kid in the video, surely that’s child abuse????