We have seen more than enough Nollywood movies to last us ten lifetimes. Sometimes they are really good, sometimes they suck. But these 14 lazy stereotypes? Enough already.
1. Your in-laws must be evil.
We know Patience Ozokwor has to eat but please.
2. House girls can only come from Cross Rivers or Akwa Ibom.
Nollywood house girls are so fertile even saliva will get them pregnant.
3. You can go to Ghana or South Africa and come back with American accent.
It happened for Francis Odega. And Jenifa. And Igwe 2pac.
4. Every car accident scene must end with the driver placing head on steering.
5. If you have malaria and you feel like vomiting, my sister please swallow it.
Or else they will judge you.
6. When your mother discovers a wealthy chief or alhaji has impregnated you.
Please help me to be keeping my daughter pregnant.
7. There is only one sign to detect a bad boy or bad girl.
And it’s smoking. Add a silly walking step and we’re good.
8. All bad boys meet in one place…
That bottle of Hennessy is not a mistake.
9. The major key to financial success is blood rituals.
Buhari needs to order Nollywood to do blood money only in Naira. Because exchange rate.
10. Forget hard work, if a babalawo cannot solve it, you are finished!
If it is too hard, try the nearest church. Pastor must chop.
11. All gate men are doomed to be stupid.
They can’t epp it.
12. All wicked people must convulse and die.
Because the only form of justice is death.
13. Or run mad
This one still spoke Americanah inside madness.
14. Who else shall we thank for the success of the project and the death of our enemies?
And special thanks to chief Ogbuefi for the house. Please borrow us next time.