Wale Adenuga and his wife Bukola recently marked their 21st wedding anniversary. The the gospel singer has now graciously released a list of marriage advice for single and married people.
A few days ago, Bukky and I celebrated 21 years of being married. First I thought maybe I should share 21 tips. But then I don’t think I have that many things to say. Here are a few lessons I’ve learnt along the way.
1. A dear friend set me really free just before I got married. He said to me, your wedding ceremony will not be the best, and it won’t be the worst. Oh, how liberated I was.
2. I’ve learnt not to confuse how I love my wife with how I feel. Chemistry is great. But trust me, that’s not the only subject you will need to pass its test on marriage. Your commitment will always be tested.
3. We married way before the fuss about destination weddings. Guess what; my wife and I had our honeymoon at Redemption camp ? That’s the best we could come away with then. Today, we’ve been to many places we never imagined 21 years ago. The wedding ceremony isn’t the destination!
4. All the assets I had when I got married fit into 2 ‘Ghana must go’ bags. My most prized possession was a cassette player. My wife married me nonetheless. @bukkyproverbs thank you. Like a friend said, no lady should be eyeing me now. Such a one is 21 years late.
5. I’m grateful that I’m married to a woman who does not put me under pressure to be who I’m not. In the early years we had many a plate of rice with just egg on top of the ‘mountain’. We didn’t have curtains on the window. We draped it with a wrapper my grandmother gave us.
6. We’ve had plenty of civil wars. SORRY is an eventual word we get to say to each other so that things don’t progress to world war status.
7. My wife is the person God has planted in my life to make my head to be correct. That’s who your spouse should be to you.
8. If you’re not intentional about how things run in your family, you might unconsciously be executing an operating system you learnt from your parents or your surrounding. And if that was defective, then you’ve got a whirlwind on your hands. So it may be against the grain of popular culture, but till tomorrow, my role includes doing the dishes and cooking sometimes. It’s not a big deal.
Just the two cents on marriage I am able to put together now. Should write some more soon.