This would happen if minutes of a Nigerian meeting spoke the truth for once

By Adeboro Odunlami

I was the typical Nigerian secretary. In other words, an expert at taking down minutes.


At a normal meeting in my office, Chike would doze off, Linda would chew gum throughout, Yemisi would object to everything everyone said, Shade would force herself to give sound contributions which Uchenna would automatically counter.

Did we mention Falomo who would excuse himself not less than three times to take his calls? An empty seat for Opeyemi who came late for his own wedding and will probably do the same for his burial, and poor me. I would just read the minutes and mind my business.

Beyonce unlooking

One fine day, I decided to read the minutes the way the meeting actually happened.

“The minutes of last week’s meeting- Tuesday, the 30, June 2015. There were 12 people present and though the meeting commenced at 2pm, only two people; Mr Chike and myself were present. The others strolled in casually and as usual, Opeyemi came in 30 minutes to the end of the meeting. ”

”The meeting was in fact an argument contest and was therefore a fruitless one.”

Mr Chike started off the meeting by dozing off.

Me Gif

In the course of the meeting, a few intelligent points were made by Shade the intern on the importance of social media and ways by which the company can leverage on the various online platforms.

side eye

I would not waste your time with Yemisi’s objections because I honestly did not note them down.

”Social media is not social media unless it is social’’ said Opeyemi who came in one hour late.

Twenty minutes to the end of the meeting when everyone realised that we were yet to make any progress, Linda demanded that I do a recap of everything we had spoken about. I lied for the peace and sanity of the meeting and said that we had all agreed that:

● Shade would go ahead to do further research on more conventional ways through which the company may leverage on existing social media platform.

● Everyone would go back to their drawing board and return this week with a better plan.

● Everyone must keep in mind that social media is not social media unless it is social.

Everyone nodded and felt at peace with themselves.

By 5pm, the meeting came to an end, same way I know my employment here has.

Dead gesture



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

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