Traffic in Lagos is like Arsenal Football Club. Just when you think it’s beginning to get better… you sha know the rest.
We know only these people like traffic,
“How long do I spend in traffic?”
You’ve probably asked yourself this question, and if you haven’t, well you just did.
So, let’s do the maths.
Let’s pretend you spend four hours in traffic every day, you work at a 9-5, you don’t work weekends, and you are still too I-Just-Got-Back to tweet at GidiTraffic.
You’ll be spending about 952 hours in traffic this year.
Don’t panic. You’re already inside.
Channel your positive energy towards the light at the end of the Third Mainland Bridge.
From one perspective, the traffic might be Divine.
Think about it.
952 hours make almost 40 days.
That’s how long Jesus fasted.
That’s how long it also took Moses to come down from Mount Sinai.
That’s how long it will take Buhari to answer any question about basic economics.
From another angle, it’s equivalent to 6 weeks.
If you had seized bae last year, now is the time the bae child starts to form ears and eyes and nose in the womb.
That’s all the time Davido needs to kidnap a child from her mother.
That’s all the time it took Linda Ikeji to renovate a N650 million house, with 11 bedrooms, one swimming pool and all the sorrow pain of those who began to blog before her.
So, you better come to terms with your destiny.
Its January, and everybody that went to the village is back.
May the Lord have mercy on your souls.