There are few heartbreakers greater than JAMB in Nigeria.
We share with you a common JAMB story we have never experienced (because no one will admit it) but almost certainly know someone who has (and is still denying it).
1. This is your fourth year writing JAMB, and you still don’t know anything.
Why me Lord? My mates are already doing convocation.
2. But you want it to be your last time so you make counter measures.
*Dials Kelvin Sure Dubs*
3. When the guy tells you to pay good money for dubs.
How much do you want? Name your price.
6. When everybody is studying but you’re laid back because your guy will deliver.
Not every time hard work, sometimes smart work.
7. One day before exams, and you are drinking to your distinction-in-waiting.
8. Then you wait for the dubs to enter at 5am like the guy promised.
Muzzbe bad network.
9. Seven a.m. Nothing.
10. So you just go to the exam hall in good faith, because you serve a living God.
Lord, you know deep down I love you.
11. You smuggle your phone in. Just in case.
12. Then you feel it vibrate, your home boy has delivered, and in your soul, you’re like.
Value for money!
13. You check it, but instead of TYPE A answers, he sends you TYPE D.
This is how it ends.
14. And you know you’re finished.
Keep calm and be finished.
15. So you start shading the most attractive options for each question
That word sounds nice. Muzzbe the correct answer.
16. People ask you how your exams were, but you say “We thank God”
In all things, give thanks to God.
17. But you know deep down that you have to go and learn mechanic.
Because this Unifarsity sturv is not for everybody.