According to Professor Chinedu Nebo, 64 million Nigerians suffer some form of mental illness and for the sake of this piece, lets pretend Mr Taribo Kanye West is one of them.
Now imagine Kanye West wakes up one morning and goes to his mummy and says, ‘I’m a god’.
You say? Kanayo have you eaten this morning?
And then he goes, “Whoa by 50 percent [I am more influential than] Stanley Kubrick, Apostle Paul, Picasso… fucking Picasso and Escobar. By 50 per cent more influential than any other human being.”
And his mum is like,
“Hay God, his Uncle Kanayo O. Kanayo has said he will use his brain for money rituals, he has finally succeeded.”
And mummy goes, ”Kanayo, when last did you read your bible?”, he answers, ”I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.”
And she picks up her phone and says, “Pastor epp me!”, and pastor shows up, and starts to cast.
And bind.
But Yeezy is just looking like.
And then pastor says, “izz like this one is serious sturvs. Muzzbe Lucifer.” So he calls the one person he knows won’t disappoint.
And when our Woli arrives, Kanye thinks it’s still a joke, so he says, “I don’t think there’s a living celebrity with more weapons formed against him, but I don’t think there’s one more prosperous.”
Then Woli and his lieutenants activate.
By the time they finish with our brother, he is begging, crying, saying, You should only believe about 90 percent of what I say. As a matter of fact, don’t even believe anything that I’m saying at all. I could be completely fucking with you, and the world, the entire time.’
Oga is begging for second chance to be normal.
And his mother starts to thank God for his mercies.
But the moment Woli and Pastor leave, Kanye switches up again.
And goes, “I’m the closest that hip hop is getting to God. In some situations I’m like a ghetto Pope.” And his mum knows she has had enough.
What she should have done a long time ago. Hopefully, he won’t share his ward at Yaba Left with this guy.
Because then, we’ll know he’s gone forever.
Note:
Mental health is a serious issue that Nigerians need to start recognising and dealing with. Not every time prayer and koboko, sometimes visit a psychotherapist or just go to Yaba Left. It is not as bad as it seems.
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