Shehu Sani likes to talk about the fact that he has been behind bars. A lot.
But it is probably a well earned bragging right when you’ve been jailed at least four times for activism and unionism. But what is the use of all the lessons learned in prison if he does not teach others coming after him. Shehu Sani took on two new students, Senate president Bukola Saraki and his deputy, Ike Ekweremadu.
These two men are in court over allegations of forging Senate rules during the election that brought them into office.
So while their court session was in recess, Wise One Shehu Sani decided to lecture Saraki and Ekweremadu.
Imagine you’re one of them and your colleague starts to lecture you on what prison life is like.
As narrated by another Senator who listened in on the convo, Sani was like:
1. In prison, there is a ranking rule like at the National Assembly.
Because while everybody knows their place, the yard will have to fall into anarchy every now and then. Scales must be balanced. Doubts must be cleared. In the end, there will always be the boss to restore order.
2. Co-operate with the Governor in the prison.
This is the unofficial but widely recognised and accepted boss of the prison yard. Just like Lechero in Prison Break.
But you see, the man in the Nigerian yard might look like this:
But he will always be treated like this:
Respect him. Forget whatever you once were outside those walls, you are now his subject.
3. Never forget to collect your plate and fall in line for food.
There shall be no high tables, no options and big buffets. There shall be no table manners and napkins to tuck yourself in with. There shall only be you, and your plate of food. Bear in mind that on some days, first come first serve will matter.
4. You will be sharing toilet with hundreds of people and that might mean your face being like this every time:
5. And your bed space? Of course, you need to ask your Governor nicely.
Back to Shehu Sani, when asked about this, he said;
Yes, is anything bad in what I did? They are my colleagues and as a former inmate, I felt I should educate them on how to live in the prison, so that they will not be caught unawares.
It is like dear Senator Sani is wishing the two Senate leaders bon voyage to the prison yard. So cold.
But as baby boys, if the Judge says that is where they are going, we can be sure they will enter like this: