The Nigerian Police guide to spotting a Yahoo boy anywhere

Yahoo Boy /jɑːˈhuː,ja-bɔɪ/. noun: A person (almost always male) who commits internet fraud. e.g. That Yahoo Boy just received $10,000 dollars from his Oyibo Maga.

Nigeria has an international reputation for having more princes in distress than actual thrones in the country. There’s also the most recent call to help bring our Nigerian astronaut home from space.

Because our Nigerian police force cares so much about our reputation abroad, they are fighting the battle from the roots, on streets across Nigeria. So they are either stopping you on the road, whether you are driving or trekking, or bursting into your room in the middle of the night.

This is how Nigerian policemen identify Yahoo Boys.

1. Bling


It doesn’t matter that the gold chain is most likely not real gold. Nope. You must settle or reach station.

2. Laptop bag


“Eyys. Come here. Is there laptop inside your bag? Where is the receipt? Are you carrying it around so you can quickly do the wire?”

3. Pedestrian with iPhone 6.

Why are you walking on the road with an iPhone 6? Oho! so you have money to buy iPhone but you don’t have money to buy car?


Naizwan. Oya, zone.

4. Driving a Lexus when you’re not even 30.

It isn’t your parent’s car, then where did you get money to buy it? And did anybody ask you whether you have a good job or not? Are the papers of the car even original or you downloaded it from the internet?

Odunlade lie
5. Once they see an international number on your phone.

Why are are you calling international number when you’ve not finished talking to people in Nigeria? Whose business is it that it is your uncle that wants to send you small something? Is he even your uncle?

Caleon surprise

6. When they see a white woman on your phone.

Who is Celine Dion, is that the American woman sending you dollars?


7. When you dress too well.

Why is your shirt standing like this? Is it pounds you used to iron it? Why are you this dressed in the morning and you don’t have office? Is your work on the road or on your laptop?

Drake brad

8. When they see anything Western Union on your body.

So you’ve been doing Yahoo to the extent that they’ve given you souvenir as regular customer abi?

policemen clappingNaizwan.

9. When they spot more than two guys in a car.

Make up your minds quickly. Are you a cultist or a Yahoo Boy? Choose wisely because you have to be one of them.

confused baby

10. When your jersey has a suspicious name at the back.

J money

 Did your father name you J Money?

11. When you come out of a bank with a girl.

Wollup Gif

Is that how you used to do? Enter bank, withdraw, and go and spoil the girl with money?

12. Just be male.

“You dunno what Yahoo Yahoo means? Your mates that are doing it, do they have two heads? Lets go to the station.”

Sad Chiwetel



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

1 Comment
  1. Their favourite questions:
    1. May I know you?
    2. Who owns this car?
    3. Where do you work?
    4. Open your phone.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: