The 11 things that happen to you when house hunting in Lagos

There are six million ways to die. Living in Lagos sits close to the top of the list.
Changing addresses in Lagos is major wahala, especially when you’re moving to another rented place. Here are a few things to expect:
The first thing is to get an agent to help you scout for house. Then, one day he calls and says, ”oga I done see house.”

This is what your agent tells you it’ll look like.

This is what it actually looks like.

Meanwhile, all the other houses you’ve seen are worse or above your budget, so you decide to manage. You decide to pay.

It is then that you realise that the money for renovation and furnishing is almost half of the rent.

That does not include the money every co-tenant is donating to clear the drainage in preparation of the rains, or the pumping machine maintenance, and this and that.

Then the next stage, getting your handymen.

Batman and Robin
You now have to start begging the electricians, plumbers, carpenters, painters, just because they are the real bosses. And they must show you pepper.

When the house is ready and its time for the hardest part; the actual moving.

So you have to start unscrewing, unbolting and dissembling by yourself because the money they are calling for you will cut your neck.

Then you pack, move, unpack, screw, bolt, assemble. Now you’re wishing you had jejely paid money for all of it.

Your only consolation now is this; it is done.



Until you have to do it again that is.



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

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