After last week’s lukewarm (and very short) fourth episode, here I am again, giving Skinny Girl in Transit yet another chance to actually impress me with stellar writing. Not holding up hope though. I’m Nigerian after all. Abandon hope all ye who enter and what not.
If you haven’t seen this episode yet, stop right now and go watch the episode. But if you’re like me and don’t mind spoilers, let’s get right to it.
After last episode’s ‘cliff hanger’, featuring a lovely cameo by Nigerian super model Nikki Anyasi, we finally get to see the confrontation between Tiwa and Femi. This episode is a good 20 minutes plus so hopefully we’ll get some plot exposition.
Femi throws it in Tiwa’s face that he saw her sneaking and frolicking around Lagos and Tiwa is belligerent, trying at all cost to weasel her way out of admitting she was wrong. They argue for a while and the writers finally get a chance to call Femi a ‘Yoruba Demon’ and sturvs. Tiwa finally has it up to here and asks for them to take a ‘break’. To which Femi gives this Oscar winning line.
“You think, or didn’t you hear when I separated the ‘girl’ from the friend?”
WAWUUU! NEXT THEY’LL BE WINNING PULITZER PRIZES FOR DIALOGUE.
Tiwa finally makes her way home and breaks down after realising she’d lied her way out of a relationship. Which makes sense, seeing as she already told us Femi and Kola run in the same circles.
Shalewa takes the opportunity to take a few digs at Tiwa and their mother comes to Tiwa’s rescue, providing much needed comfort. The first time this show actually shows some depth and combats stereotypes about older Nigerians and their views on marriage. Ngozi Nwosu brings a whole new side to Tiwa’s mother, showing a softness and empathy that I was afraid she’d been previously lacking. Take that, for all of us insinuating Ngozi Nwosu is a one trick pony.
Like play, like play two weeks have passed since Tiwa and Femi broke up. Tiwa has a long epiphany about everything that already happened, how she might die single and how she needs to revamp her life, wake up Tiwa 3.0, complete with some Olamide quotes.
Tiwa and her office side kick go to the salon where Tiwa is getting a good old high school make over to boost her self esteem post break up, which while I didn’t care for any of it, I didn’t hate. That was until out of nowhere, the side kick brings up Hadiza. For people who don’t care about Hadiza, Tiwa and Didi the side chick seem very obsessed with her.
After Tiwa’s ‘makeover’, she and Didi have one of those TV montages, where they walk into the high school corridor, except that with Tiwa’s hideous muted yellow cape blouse, she ends up looking more like a lollipop. The first real laugh I’ve had this episode. Tiwa looked so clueless I cackled. Seriously they need to fire the person who styled Tiwa for this episode, home girl was sleeping on a bicycle. The styling was horrible.
At this point, I’ll just come out and say it, Ini Dima-Okojie can’t act her way out of a tea cup. She is almost as bad an actress as Beverly Naya and that’s saying a lot considering Beverly Naya has the emotional range of wallpaper. Ini as Hadiza is cringe inducing every time she comes on screen. It’s so bad, my Lord.
Tiwa finally goes to see Mide, and they have yet another awkward forced fake tension fight. Can they just fuck already so we can move on with our lives. Just going to skip their scenes until they shag. Please someone tell me when it happens.
That evening Tiwa and mom are watching TV when Shalewa comes home, bags in hand, fresh from a shopping trip with her boo. Shalewa offers her mom gifts from the boo and her moms goes into a frenzy accusing Shalewa’s boo of being a ritualist and sturvs. Cos you know that’s all older men do. They talk a bit, Tiwa adds her own two cents about Shalewa not playing her cards right and waiting till her moms was desperate enough to not get fussy about types and age and leaves with her own gift, giving us our first non ‘cliff hanger’ episode in a while.
These past 22 minutes feel like 6 hours of torture. Thank God it’s over.
Here’s the tea.
By episode five it is obvious Tiwa is one of those people who spend their entire lives feeling like because they aren’t pretty or privileged, everyone else should roll over and do things for them because they are ‘nice’. But really she is just a mean girl, like everyone else. And it is tiring tbh. I am really tired of waiting for her to change.
Also, no episode of Skinny Girl in Transit has passed the Bechdel test. For a show written by a Nigerian woman, this is disappointing as fuck.
Do better please.
Semira Bello is lacking in conscience and lives her life on Youtube. When she isn’t watching Iroko TV, she is writing ‘serious’ articles about fashion and pretending to apply make up.