SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen the episode you should stop right now, and watch before you proceed.
But if you have, go right ahead.
So after a very disappointing season launch, and a somewhat less disappointing second episode, we hope we’ll finally get into the meat of this new season. The general plot lines have all been set up and now, we can get into the shenanigans proper.
When episode three begins, our heroine, Tiwa is searching for something. Like seriously, religiously searching for something, though we have no idea what it is. Next thing, Mama Shalewa calls her out of the blue. She is played by Ngozi Nwosu, so you know it’s about to become a laugh a minute.
Mama Shalewa unfolds her nightmare, starring Shalewa and Maikel (Maxwell). In it, Maxwell pursues her for malicious reasons and Shalewa bites him. She’s interpreted this dream to mean that Maxwell is some kind of ritualist looking to steal Shalewa’s Kadaara (some kind of good will).
I hold out for as long as I can, but once Mama Shalewa starts her trademark ugly cry, Tiwa agrees to her plan to ask Folake’s husband, Uche to find out if Maxwell is a ritualist and launch a spiritual prayer offensive. They end the scene with the thing Tiwa so desperately looking for moments ago, long forgotten.
Let me not catch this show’s continuity person because if I do, we will fight.
Tiwa has a photoshoot in the next scene, her curly Yaki is laid (honestly that hair looks like Yaki) and she is in real life, honest to goodness Ejiro Amos Tafiri. Her friend is in the office, the one we simply know as ‘babes’ and in what I have now finally dubbed the ‘Ndani foreshadowing technique,’ home girl tells us what anyone with two brain cells to rub together already knows; going to ‘hang out’ with your ex behind your boyfriend’s back is always, always a bad idea.
On second thought, I’m not so sure that all the clothes were Ejiro Amos Tafiri.
Next time we see Tiwa, she’s at Sweet Kiwi in Lekki Phase One (yay advert placement) waiting for Kola, when she sees Maxwell, and surprise, surprise Maxwell is with a six year old who keeps calling him ‘daddy’. As per amebo extraordinaire, Tiwa whips out her camera faster than I can blink and makes a recording. They sha want us to believe that Maxwell looks in Tiwa’s direction twice and doesn’t instantly recognize her.
Kola then goes into this LOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG story filled with lame-as-fuck lines like:
“Is the A.C on in here, why did you become so cold?”
I’m surprised Tiwa even sat through as much as she did. She sha finally gets fed up and starts to leave. Kola tries to offer her a lift, she refuses at first, but it seems his wack lines do work because he eventually whines her into agreeing to a lift. They get to her house, he guilts her into giving her a hug, and just then, (seeing as you know, we simply don’t deserve an episode that doesn’t have a stupidly predictable scene,) Femi drives right up to her house and ‘catches’ them.
KILL ME NOW.
Don’t any of these men have day jobs? I don’t understand why they’re just trooping in and out on a hot afternoon.
Like get a life y’all. Like really.
Femi finally announces his presence and Tiwa, completely oblivious she’s been caught, tells a bald facel lie about her taking a cab from the mechanics. Femi’s face is like ‘Gotcha!’ as he plays along, and the writers leave us on a cliff hanger.
Okay, this episode wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great either. Could have been, but they had to spoil it with a ‘white lie’, ‘simple misunderstanding’ trope. We watch Cinema Sins people, we know all the tricks.
Here’s hoping (with a pinch of salt) that maybe episode four will be the one where we finally are blessed with some superior scripting.
Here’s to hoping.
Life Lesson: All Yoruba mothers are stereotypes. Yes, even yours.
Semira Bello is lacking in conscience and lives her life on Youtube. When she isn’t watching Iroko TV, she is writing ‘serious’ articles about fashion and pretending to apply make up.