After that worryingly bad first episode of Rumour Has It, I’m coming into this second episode with extreme caution. Ndani tv and co, please and please, don’t disappoint me.
Episode two begins with Obi on the floor, all cried out. And just in case we forgot what happened in the previous episode, we are treated with not one. but several flashbacks of the confrontation with Wale, Obi’s husband.
This was when knew I was going to be in for another round of Nollywood-esque fuckery.
Seriously though, we don’t have Alzheimer’s. We didn’t need visual reminders of what happened in the last episode. Seriously.
Then Obi suddenly retches, runs to the bathroom and vomits. We won’t be surprised if this very obvious bit of foreshadowing is to tell us that Obi is now pregnant for Wole. We beg you in the name of everything you hold dear, Rumour Has It, surprise us.
While Obi is all passed out in the bathroom post vomit sesh, some guy called Arinze (we’re suspecting he’s her brother) comes and bangs loudly on her front door, yapping on and on about how their mother came looking for her and everyone is worried. She doesn’t respond, and he leaves.
I personally would have preferred if it was the scene of her mother coming to check up on her that was filmed, instead of this really boring Arinze scene.
An undisclosed amount of time later, someone else comes to bang on her door. Maybe his voice was sexier, because Obi reluctantly scrapes herself off the floor and goes to open the door. It turns out to be her friend. (Blossom Chukwujekwu is a beefcake, my Jesus!)
Allow us to point out here how Toni Tones’ Jennifer has appeared in the show only to break bad news, drive Obi home and disappear. I thought they were best friends?
Anyhow, at the sound of David’s voice, Obi’s dead bones rise again and she lets him in. And then we get yet another unnecessarily lengthy scene that is supposed to serve as ‘exposition’.
Just how long was this scene?
Well let’s see; David comes in and sits on the floor with Obi while she mopes. Then he takes her to her matrimonial bedroom, leaves her on the bed where she mopes some more and he runs her a bath and helps her put some paste on her toothbrush. While she is ‘bathing,’ he sets out a dress for her to wear and goes to cook dinner. Then he begs her to eat, after yapping about how this isn’t the Obi he knows.
David is still there later that evening, and we get some more reminders of who Obi really is This whole thing takes a whooping 14 minutes (that I will never get back).
FOURTEEN MINUTES PEOPLE.
A few things though. It’s quite creepy how many times David lovingly touches an obviously emotionally compromised Obi’s face in this never ending scene. We counted at least six times. Is it that he doesn’t understand boundaries or this their friendship get K-leg?
They tell us Obi and Wole have been married for just over a year (according to David). In that year she had a miscarriage and her marriage fell apart because she couldn’t give Wole a child. In a year? Really?
This maths is one kain. In the words of Tiwa Savage ‘If I start to talk’.
After, we get yet another obligatory but needless scene where the staff at Rumour Has It gossip about Obi’s life and relationship and tell us how karma’s a bitch. No shit Sherlock.
We finally get to see Obi’s mother, who finally tracks her down to her office and forces a meet. The tongue lashing she gets is long overdue to be honest, and we see mopey, whiny Obi return while she negotiates some time before she has to return to her family home to ‘rest’. And that’s where the episode ends.
We got 24 minutes essentially consisting two scenes. Sis…
We should point out that so far, Obi only finds her spine when it’s time to bully her staff, with everyone else she’s a weeping mess who can’t wipe her own ass.
Also, for the country’s biggest and most successful blogger, Obi is incredibly, incredibly naive. It’s almost like Obi became as successful as she is purely on luck (or worse, privilege). She has no spine, no business savvy. Her husband cheats on her and none of her contacts who have given her all her scoops knew anything about this?
Life Lesson: If your best friend (male) who is also good friends with your husband tells you he had no idea your husband was cheating, believe him. He is obviously telling the truth.