12 ways people in relationships are really just potential serial killers

1. “I want to lick your face and bite your lips.”



Remember Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of The Lambs book and movie? Yes. That’s what he did, eat people and lick them.


2. Watching them sleep.


Do you ever wake up to that feeling that you are being watched? It could be the people following you from your village, or a burglar, or more probably, your lover.


3. Sometimes you already know what they are going to say.

Just look at

Mr and Mrs Recorder. Well done.

4. When bae is saying something they already told you before but you pretend like you don’t know.


I know what you did last summer. You don’t need to tell me but I’ll just let you finish.


5. You update each other on daily activities.

Falz walkie1

So that you can corner them when nobody knows and kidnap them. Naizwan.

6. ”Remember when you pooed on your uniform in primary school? Haha! I remember it like I was there.”

Odunlade shock

Please when did I tell you this one? How do you even remember this please?

7. You like every one of their photos on all social media.

Falz like

Are you…watching me?

8. “So you used Hi5 and Face of Festac? Waaawu!”

tongue out silly


I didn’t even remember I had one of those.


9. When you order food for bae and they say “How did you know what I wanted to eat?”

Kanayo smiling

I know what you want to eat tomorrow afternoon sef.


10. You buy bae Suya with cucumber and yoghurt because she mentioned it passively two and a half weeks ago.

drinking water


I hear everything love.


11. Knowing their shoe and cloth sizes just in case.

GARMISCH-PARTENKIRCHEN, GERMANY - JUNE 08:  Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari attends the second day of the summit of G7 nations at Schloss Elmau on June 8, 2015 near Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany. In the course of the two-day summit G7 leaders are scheduled to discuss global economic and security issues, as well as pressing global health-related issues, including antibiotics-resistant bacteria and Ebola.  (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)


I know your life size love.


12. Having all their passwords.



You don’t need to hide it love. I figured it all out.


13. Knowing when bae is on her period.

Falz menses


Kuku come and be doing the menses with me.




When God was sharing chill, I was at the back of the line trying to start a fire.

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