Have you ever been having a decent conversation and someone just comes out of the blue, or gut, and starts to spin bullshit?
@larimah, helped another Tweeter, @olalekantunde, travel down memory lane when he called her “a piece of Amphibian shit”.
She just created time for him, and decided to look into his matter.
And she went,
Do you know the story of your birth, @olalekantunde? It’s a good one, let me tell it.
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
There was once proud old goat in the village, a strong muscular ram, so large it was worshiped @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
Over the years age dwindled it to a shell of itself, but people respected the old goat. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
Then tragedy struck,
One day, the venerated ram was crossing the road and got hit by a car. As it lay dying a woman walked up to it. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
This is where the Nollywood begins,
She found herself suddenly overcome w/ lust and lay down with it. W/ last breath, the dilapidated goat gave her his seed. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
The woman fell pregnant and every night she worried what horrible beast grew in her womb. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
At this stage, we already started panicking for the guy.
Would it be a terrifying monster? A deformed creature no one would rest eyes on?@olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
Finally the child’s birth day arrived. The woman hid in the bush and pushed and pushed. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
When the baby slid out the woman hurried to examine it and was disappointed. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
No fearful monster, no thing to inspire terror. Just an ordinary stupid child that wld grow into an ordinary stupid man. You.@olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
My people, there is wickedness in this world, and it doesn’t even end there.
So she abandoned you in the bush to be found by the people you think are your parents today. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
This is an armour tank in a knife fight. He will not be sorely missed.
Moral of the Story:
Do not fuck with writers.
They are going to tell an origin story you never believed existed, and you might even begin to believe it.
Remain blessed. @olalekantunde
— Lesley Nneka Arimah (@larimah) February 29, 2016
Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah…
Tiwa savage ft wizkid bad… Wetn do d song na? It died before it reigned? #red
Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah…
Tiwa savage ft wizkid bad… Wetn do d song na? It died before it reigned? #redi
*sings* my soul looks up to thee, thou lamb of Calvary!
Jesus take me. Can’t live in this wicked world no mo