1. Husband: Baby please now, one more round.
Wife: Oya beg me.
2. Mummy: Who took the meat from the soup?
Child: Mummy it’s not me
Mummy: Then what is the oil on your mouth?
3. Mopol: Mr man please step out of your vehicle.
Man: I know my rights!
Man: Is that how you people used to do?
4. Armed Robbers: Where is the man of the house?
“I say where is the man of the house?!”
5. ATM at 11pm when you’re stranded: “Temporarily unable to dispense cash”
Customer: Epp me.
6. Son: Daddy welcome.
Dad: Oh, you think you’re now a big boy abi? Do the right thing
Son: Daddy welcome.
7. Teacher : Good morning class, if you’ve done your assignment, stand on my right, if you’ve not done yours, to my left.
8. Wife : Who’s Helen?
Me: She’s just a colleague.
Wife: Why is she sending nude pictures of you and her on a bed and talking about how last time was great?
Me: I can explain.
9. When politicians come to beg for your votes.
10. But when you come back to remind them of the promises they made.