Nigerians are mad, and have no one to tell them

by Fu’ad Lawal

Have you ever sat in a bus or cab, and told the person sitting beside you to shift… then they started swearing for you and your unborn children??

Have you ever tried taking a zebra crossing but no driver stopped for you because you’re not a zebra?

Yes? You have been meeting of the many Nigerians with borderline madness.

Over my dead body
Over my dead body

In the abroad, psychologist Robert Leahy says “the average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s.”

I laugh.

And these are oyinbo people o.

They have not;

a) Chopped that kain cane from their teacher.

Teacher flogging

b) Suffered from the very NEPA.


c) Received petrol as Chrismas gift.

fuel gift

d) Slept at filling station while waiting for fuel.

fuel waiting

Now, that we are gathered, let us pull together the full list.

Getting robbed in traffic.

Robbed in traffic

Entering one chance.


Getting your car battery stolen because your landlord didn’t build parking space.


All of these, while spending about 4-5 hours every day in traffic.

Lagos Traffic

As for the fear that the car that is near you or even a plastic bag might explode, you don’t want to go there.

Where our dear Dr. Leahy leaves, they have a name for it: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

We call it: normal stuffs.

And there is no ‘post’ in our own trauma, we are living it live and direct, like reality TV.


The time is nigh for Nigerian police to begin to do their work.

Not only particulars and laptop receipt checking, they need to start looking for madness medicine.

Seeing as many of us are not very alright.

And when the Police have run mad nko?
And when the Police have run mad nko?

But then again, there is only one type of sickness that we treat in Nigeria – malaria.

Anything Coartem cannot treat, Nigerians will say it is spiritual attack.


Is this not the same country where you people voted for Dino Melaye?

As the Lord liveth, the madness is still remaining.



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.


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