1. What do you mean you don’t eat meat?
Are you sick?
2. What do you now use to cook soup?
Only onions and pepper?
3. Are you on a diet?
Or maybe you have diabetes.
4. Do you know what vegetarian means in my native language?
Ewu. Eranko. Dabba.
5. When you tell your dad the vegan life is healthy
So you’re saying I don’t have sense as I’m eating meat abi?
6. Is that the condition they gave you where you went to do money rituals?
But where is the money?
7. So you mean no Sallah ram or Christmas chicken for you?
How do you now celebrate?
8. Are you a goat?
Since its only leaf you’re eating.
9. If you’re not a goat why are you now dragging their food with them?
10. If you don’t eat animals because you love them, then why do you eat Jollof rice?
We need to know where you stand.
11. When you tell your mum that you’re vegetarian.
How will you survive if you don’t it meat?
12. When you say it in public that you’re a vegan
Can we please have a moment of silence?
13. You can eat plants but you can’t eat animals. Are they not both living things?
14. No Nkwobi? Isi Ewu? Suya nko?
Are you a sad human being?
15. Wait, so you’re saying you don’t eat aaaany meat?
16. When you enter a Buka and ask for vegan soup.
You can have egusi, but we cooked it with meat stock if you don’t mind.
17. Wait, did you just say you’re Nigerian?
You’re officially denounced.