All the subtle (and not so subtle) ways my life has changed since they floated our currency

So they have finally (FINALLY) floated our currency.


I cried for nearly a year, cursed Buhari, cursed Jonathan, bought more bend-down-select than I’ll ever publicly admit, found out you can make stew with something other than tomatoes and discovered that in an economic recession, privately operated public transportation can come back to bite you in the ass.

The trekking never bothered me anyway
The trekking never bothered me anyway

After finally depleting the reserves, seeing reason, our CBN governor, benevolent Dr. Godwin Emefiele finally announced that they are going to ‘float’ the naira. After doing thanksgiving and going to troll the wailing wailers on Twitter I finally got down to business and instituted some major changes in my life.


First things, first…



Oh ASOS how I have missed you, (side-eyes Jumia and their atrocious service).  I also pre-emptively filed for bankruptcy because I am going to shop till I drop.

Then I did a quick exchange rate check to remind myself of what the bad old days used to be.








I exchanged the dollars I had been saving in case Emefiele’s stubbornness allowed our economy to reach Zimbabwe levels of inflation.

Was this close to becoming a trillionaire fa. *tears*
Was this close to becoming a trillionaire fa.

Deleted my God Is Good app. Travelling by night bus has its perks but airlines about to get all of that moneys so cheaper flights. I hope.

Me when I ‘accidentally’ enter Arik first class and they politely ask me to return to economy.


Then I remembered that Arik is steady using people’s destiny to play ten-ten and reinstalled the app. Gats keep them on their toes.

Not today bitch.

Called all my friends who worked in banks to check if they’re still in a job.


Plis Jesus o!
Thank God oh!

When Nigerian banks were using 100$ a barrel to play kalu-kalu they didn’t know that day of reckoning was coming, now they’re sacking people left and right.


Lied to my family I am no longer seriously considering going to enter ship in Libya so I can go and wash plate in the abroad.

Anything is better than struggling with NEPA.

If things don’t improve, might still have to replace my graduation gown with Magdonalds face cap.

crying woman

Me when the waiter brought our bill at one of these fancy Island restaurants and my ajebutter friends (who used to pay before they floated naira) said ‘Let’s split the bill equally.’

No be me una go disgrace.
No be me una go disgrace.

B.R.B, investing in palm oil as tomato don’t want to put some RESPECK on my wallet.

Even Juju cannot give you this kind of profit.
Even Juju cannot give you this kind of profit.


How do you think the new foreign exchange policy will change your life?



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