The abroad is a very vast place. There is enough room to be anything and everything. Whether you’re in school in Cotonou, on an eight-day holiday trip to Dubai, or even getting your PhD in a University in England, you are definitely having a taste of what we call the international exposure.
There is one thing you should know about this international exposure; not every time green grass, sometimes scorching desert, forced gang rapes, and wire living.
Here are some things they never tell you about living abroad:
1. The Expensive shit.
Not everybody heading to Brazil is going to watch the Olympics or see the endless carnival butts. Some are carrying extra luggage, wrapped in condoms and stuffed in their stomachs. Sometimes drugs, sometimes dollars.
You should learn more about the Nigerian art of expensive shit here.
The last bus stop is either Italy or Spain. These group of internationally exposed people mostly cross the Sahara Desert, which is quite frankly, hotter than the suffering they left behind. They tend to get raped and sometimes end up in the hands of organ trafficking cartels right there in the desert. The lucky ones get to Italy and have their thighs set ablaze hundreds of times every other night.
3. Marrying your aunty for visa.
Visa is not a joking sturv. Sometimes it could mean kissing your aunt who is already a citizen at the marriage registry, just to convince them that she is the real bae.
4. The never ending masters degree.
HQ? Malaysia. Some people will spend one lifetime doing masters degree because lets face it, it was never really about the masters degree, it was the “wire degree”. When the Nigerian Prince model got casted, Malaysia came to the rescue. Waya waya.
5. The “Magdonalds” grind.
No, we’re not talking about the people who travel to wash dead bodies. We are talking about the people who leave behind their nobility in Nigeria to go and wash plates in the abroad, or sweep streets, or be janitors.
Perhaps, the real tragedy is that people would rather go through all of these than return to living in Nigeria.