Leicester City Football Club is the biggest success story on the Internet right about now.
They went from struggling to remain in the English Premier League last season, to becoming champions this season in an extraordinary manner.
This begs the question; how would a Nigerian Leicester story turn out?
1. National Association of Nigerian Prostitutes (NANP) will declare three days free sex to celebrate the victory.
We have always trusted Nigerian prostitutes to deliver free knacks every time Nigerians have a reason to celebrate, whether its the victory of Buhari at the 2015 elections,
Or just the Super Eagles winning another trophy.
But they’ll turn up at their ashawo’s place offline like.
2. The next point of call will be the Federal Government congratulating the winning team.
One of the perks of previous administrations in Nigeria is that they loved to celebrate, exactly the way Nigerians would.
Then the plots of land will follow. And cash prizes. And national awards.
With the current administration, they’d probably get a reception at Aso Rock.
But if anybody mentions money or land,
3. Every blaring speaker with God in it will have Leicester tucked somewhere.
Because the bible says in Matthew Chapter 20, verse 6, that: ‘So the last will be first, and the first will be last.’
4. A video of TB Joshua predicting the victory is going to surface on the Internet.
Because foxes bark. Amen?
5. Then while the buzz is dying, this photo will surface.
Waawu. What the…?
6. And the Internet will go crazy like.
Twitter analysts and Facebook doomsday squad.
7. And Linda ikeji will be of usual service to the Internet.
End time tinz. Because if its not on Linda Ikeji, its not valid.
10. And what is buzz without Nigerian politics finding a way in?
And their sweethearts will be quick to reply.
In the end, there’ll only be one mood.