Fellow Nigerians, happy times are here again.
First, the Central Bank of Nigeria finally floated the naira.
The price of tomato might still be doing like this:
But it is with great pleasure that we announce the return of the Dame, our very own free-to-air entertainment, Patience Jonathan.
It looks like our facial recognition software might be having errors. Let us take it back a little bit.
Oopsie. We have verified again and again, but our software is still bringing up the photo of current First Lady, Aisha Buhari. But now we understand why.
Aisha Buhari is usually our beautiful, gentle-looking, baby-girl First Lady.
But there is a wise saying among the elders:
On Tuesday, news broke that the EFCC had frozen the account of one Southwestern Governor. We present to you:
Ayodele Fayose, First of His Name.
Governor of Ekiti State,
Stomach Infrastructure Officer of the Federal Republic,
Sharer of Divine Rice,
But Fayose always has energy to throw a punch. He accused Aisha Buhari of being involved in the the Haliburton scandal that saw a US lawmaker, William Jefferson get thrown into jail. This accusation was quickly swept aside by the presidency, after calling it ridiculous and childish.
But it looks like the first lady is a big girl and can take care of herself. She took to Twitter:
No, this is not a parody. It is the account of the First Lady of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
As expected, Aisha broke the Internet, and everyone rushed in.
But about 2 hours after the first tweet, both tweets were deleted. Clearly, Aisha Buhari is telling us:
But you see, the Internet never forgets. Who deleting done epp?
Nobody that’s who.
Aisha Buhari might at this moment, be regretting why she tweeted but us, we are grateful. Madam, carry on.
We were already tired of all the body language happening at Aso Rock. Makes us wonder how great it would have been if former first lady Patience Jonathan had a Twitter account.
Anyway, there are only three possible outcomes from the First Lady’s team;
One: “I was hacked.”
Please please, this lie is no longer sweet. Give us another zobo to drink. Thanks.
Two: “It was a moment of anger and I apologise.”
This one. This one would be a miracle. But I think the Internet will understand and forgive.
Ah, this one, we expect and have now become used to. Considering her husband is an Olympic champion in body language.
Aisha Buhari might have lost her patience but in that moment, the inner Patience Jonathan emerged. And for that, we look forward to mooore.