by Adeboro Odunlami
One of the most amazing things you would experience in Nigeria is tough love.
From your mother beating you to a pulp because you did not finish your soup to a husband refusing food served by his wife, tough love is pretty much the Nigerian’s way of disciplining. With love. Plenty of it.
The following are 7 of the best Naija tough love quotes:
“Madam give that pikin breast!”
These ones are obviously passionate about the nutrition of the future generation. They cannot bear to hear a child cry in a bus. You would often hear them insult the mother of the child for hiding her breasts from the world at the expense of the well being of her child. No greater love indeed.
”Come on hold your sister well!’
If you and your sibling ever had to transport yourselves home from school as kids, then you probably witnessed this. Nigerians suddenly become heatedly protective about your sibling. I once witnessed a man almost beat up a little girl who let go of her younger sister’s hand to (gasp!) clutch her Capri-Sonne pack tighter. Even after the girl escaped lynching, the man walked on still frowning and bitterly complaining to himself. Such love.
A nurse’s silence
Some nurses relish stabbing their patients with injections. Madam, are you chooking me because you love me and want me to get better or because you hate me?
I once had a nurse move the needle in my hands for about one minute. Such commitment to duty.
”Open your mouth.”
Shout out to all mothers who force feed out of love, thank you. ”I am doing this because I love yo…’ *blackout induced by slaps* Do not ever come home with a result that isn’t first position.
”Let me tell you the truth.’’
There are so many of these ones in Nigeria. They would tell you the most obvious things in your life and proceed to give you the crappiest advice.
”Yaba one yansh remaining!’’
You must have seen the funny video about a boy in Nigeria who is lifted by his legs and hands by two bus conductors fighting to have him on their bus. This is not a joke. Bus conductors in Nigeria are so passionate about the transport and safety of their passengers that they would do everything within their power. Literally.
I almost died of laughter! I have experienced all of the above. You did not mention those Yaba boys that would literally lynch just so you can buy their market.