Lagos is a hard place to live in; what with the heat, and the traffic,and the noise. Some days it feels like one is going mad. To make matters worse, it appears some people have perfected the art of living their lives just to frustrate the hell out of you.
From encounters with rude sales girls to laggard tailors, here are all the times you are allowed to unleash your inner Patience Ozokwor on a someborry.
When your hairdresser completely destroys your new weave.
No amount of “I’m sorry ma” or “it’s just small mistake” should prevent you from giving her the full Patience Ozokwor treatment. And if the damage is beyond repair, you had better call for their madam, because money for a new weave had better come out of someone’s salary.
When your tailor doesn’t let you use the aso ebi you bought at a ridiculous amount for the occasion you bought it for.
She had better keep the aso ebi for herself, and give you the money you spent on it.
When you ask your makeup artist to give you a nude Kim K look and she gives you something like this.
When the salesgirls in the MAC stores start acting up.
And you know you got that monayyy to spend. Put them in their place real quick, you can even start asking for their manager. Remember how rude they were the last time you came to buy one lipstick, well karma is a bitch.
When you spent a fortune on pedicures (because they have a couple of white staff), but someone steps on your feet before the polish dries.
When you go partying and that girl you never really liked gets too drunk and throws up on your new “Lisa Folawiyo” dress.
When your mother throws out the weave you just took out, because she thought it was one of those synthetic ones.
P.S – Only spazz out if you’ve moved out of the house.