Nigerians, with all their lack of chill, still manage to keep their home training intact.
Whatever discomfort we may be passing through, if the issue at hand is not in the textbook of Nigerian Home Training, we are unlikely to complain. Like the following examples.
1. “The air conditioning is too cold.”
Whether it is inside the office during harmattan, or inside your neighbour’s car (free ride tinz), or even when you’re in the car with your boyfriend on a first date, Nigerians will never admit that the A/C is too cold. So while they are like this on the outside.
Deep in their soul, they are like.
Do you want somebody to call you a village person? Freeze inside please.
2. “I want food.”
The only place Nigerians will ask for this is at a party, because what is a party without
the celebrant food? Everywhere else, when you ask them this question, the answer is likely to be “I am fine. Thanks.” Brother, sister, eat. You know there’s no food at home abi?
Who suffering and smiling done epp?
3. “Who farted?”
Everybody is at the reception of a large multinational, in their best behaviour, then you just catch a whiff of the smell.
Everybody comports. Everybody is thinking, “God I hope I dressed well enough to not be the suspect.” Then everyone is using their side eye to look for the ugliest, or fattest, or worst dressed person, because deep down, we are all just stigmatising twats.
4. “I have menstrual cramps.”
One fist in the air for the women who still manage to keep it in check every month. Back to back without end.
But sometimes, sometimes, we need to understand how its doing you, especially when things go from 0-1000 in an instant.
5. “You’re talking too much.”
Have you ever been trapped with someone who won’t stop talking? Like, just won’t stop, and will just keep going until you have a headache, or stomach ache, or a heart attack, or just die? We all have. We just don’t know how to tell them to shut the fuck up. Because, home training.
Which other discomforts do Nigerians not readily admit to?