This is for the women who have found a place in their hearts to answer these foolish questions or deal with them patiently.
1. You’ve added weight oh, what have you been eating?
Is it your business?
2. Why are your legs and fingers so fat?
Is it your finger?
3. Can I see your pics?
And if I don’t show you nko?
4. Who is the guy in your display picture?
5. Is that what you wore when you were leaving your father’s house?
It must be your father’s house abi?
6. Who owns this car you’re driving?
Do you know who the fuck I am?
7. So you’re this beautiful and you are intelligent?
Is your own brain missing?
8. Why are you making your hair when you’re going to cover it?
Did I make the hair for you?
9. When will you marry?
Is my own spinsterness affecting your marriage?
10. When will you be serious with your life?
Oshey Mr Serious.
11. Are you sure that’s your real age?
No it’s football age.
12. Is he the one?
Are you the one?
13. How can a hot girl like you be single?
Waawu. My relationship status is giving you stomach pain?
14. Don’t you know you’re a woman?
Up until now I thought I was a cross-breed of hermaphrodite bats and Kangaroos, thanks for correcting me.
15. Are you a feminist?
Because of people like you, yes.
16. Has your monthly visitor arrived?
Are you the host? Do you feel like hosting?
17. If you don’t marry now, when will you start having kids?
Kill me now.
18. Have you prayed about it?
What? You want to invite me to Shiloh?
19. Are you sure you’re not being too picky?
Muzz be toothpick.
20. Why won’t you date me?
Because you are…?
21. Can you pound yam?
Okay. That’s enough.