If you’ve ever had to wait for anything in Nigeria, this one’s for you.
1. When you arrive at the filling station for fuel and the last person on the queue is at the next bus stop.
Is the world ending?
2. And when you ask, they say “I’ve been here for 10 hours.”
Are they sharing money in front?
3. Then after your own 6 hours, fuel finishes.
Nope. Nope. Unacceptable.
4. When you are at the ATM queuing for money and someone is taking too long.
Abi are you sending text message?
5. And after 5 minutes they withdraw 1000 naira.
I’m judging you please.
6. Then the next person goes there and starts to withdraw all the money in the machine.
Where is your conscience?
7. You finally get to the front of the long line and it says “Temporarily unable to dispense cash.”
Are they following me from somewhere?
8. What about when you want to buy buka food, and you see the line like.
Is this heaven?
9. But you endure because the woman’s soup is impeccable.
The patient dog gets the best Jollof.
10. But you finally get to the front and they say dodo has finished.
What is this life?
11. Do we even need to talk about the never ending queue of cars we call traffic?
We already talked about that one here.
12. What about Nigerian banks?
Customer care will tell you to join the complaints queue when you want to complain about the long deposit queue.
13. When you spend so long on the bank queues that you figure out the answers to Nigeria’s problems.
Will Nigeria become better if the queues move faster?
14. Or when you queue all day for National ID Card and then they tell you it’ll be ready in two years.
Are they bringing it from Heaven?
We can keep going but you see, at this rate, the list will reach the next bus stop.