Bedwetting is depressing by all standards, and if you ever leaked some fluid as a Nigerian child, you can relate to these struggles;
1. When you are drinking water at night and deep down you know you’re going to bedwet.
Oh no. Oh dear.
2. When you start dreaming about someone pouring water in your dream.
Showers of blessing.
3. But you’re pissing in real life.
Not again.
4. Then you have to wake up and quickly change your cloth.
They can’t catch me.
5. Then flip the matress so nobody knows you bedwetted.
Never happened.
6. Then one day, your daddy raises the mattress and sees the map under.
Daddy izz the devil.
7. How your neighbours look at you when they see you spreading mattress outside in the morning.
Agbaya.
8. When you share bed with someone and push them inside your pee to set them up.
I didn’t do it.
9. When you tie rubber band on your penis because you don’t want to pee.
I can’t do this anymore.
10. When your parents can’t take it anymore so they buy you Macintosh.
Kuku sleep with raincoat since you like to make it rain.
11. And then you have to mop your pee every morning.
Izz a hard life.
12. When you cannot abuse your siblings because you know they’ll bring it up.
Have you spread your mattress outside?
13. When someone asks you how your night was and you say fine but deep down you know it was cold and wet.
I can’t stop the rain.
14. When you marry and your spouse starts wondering why the kids won’t stop bedwetting.
I wonder where they picked up this habit.
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