Crushing on real people is bad enough but a twitter crush will have you doing all the things forbidden in the TBH cool kids rule book
First off, you start replying her tweets and referring online to her with her government name.
When you’re going to a place civilization forgot ( i.e NYSC) you subscribe to get text alerts when they tweet
You have a folder of their avatars
You occasionally find yourself trying to guess their password
- what is a password in the face of true love?
Your entire Tweetdeck is dedicated to stalking them
Constantly tweeting at them is for amateurs, you like their tweets instead
Occasionally block and unblocking so you can go ‘Hey @_____, its like twitter unfollowed us from each other’ is something youve seriously considered.
After arguing in elsewhere on the TL that you cant marry a woman who doesnt pound, you DM assure her that in your tribe, its the men that pound.
You’re always on Wikipedia reading the Key Points on the things she likes so you contribute ‘constructively’ when she is gushing on the TL.
You follow her Instagram with your second account so it you can like all her pictures in peace
That time she didnt tweet for two days, you almost had a heart attack
You finally summon courage to DM her and then pretend as though you know nothing about her, not even her name.
When she blocks you suddenly and without provocation.
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