13 weird things you do when you have a Twitter crush

Crushing on real people is bad enough but a twitter crush will have you doing all the things forbidden in the TBH cool kids rule book

First off, you start replying her tweets and referring online to her with her government name.

“why are you tweeting my name and surname plis, do I know you?”

When you’re going to a place civilization forgot ( i.e NYSC) you subscribe to get text alerts when they tweet

like good morning texts but better.

You have a folder of their avatars

love doesn’t stop because you log off

You occasionally find yourself trying to guess their password

what is a password in the face of true love?

Your entire Tweetdeck is dedicated to stalking them

“Keep tweeting baby, Im here for you”

Constantly tweeting at them is for amateurs, you like their tweets instead

“Stay low and build baby”

Occasionally block and unblocking so you can go ‘Hey @_____, its like twitter unfollowed us from each other’ is something youve seriously considered.

After arguing in elsewhere on the TL that you cant marry a woman who doesnt pound, you DM assure her that in your tribe, its the men that pound.

Anything for you babez
Anything for you babez

You’re always on Wikipedia reading the Key Points on the things she likes so you contribute ‘constructively’ when she is gushing on the TL.

“Funny that you’re talking about Sartre and existentialism in the 18th century because…”

You follow her Instagram with your second account so it you can like all her pictures in peace

New pic! New pic!

That time she didnt tweet for two days, you almost had a heart attack

“Is that how you used to do?”

You finally summon courage to DM her and then pretend as though you know nothing about her, not even her name.

"I can see my forever in your eyes..."
“I can see my forever in your eyes…”

When she blocks you suddenly and without provocation.

"Hello, fancy meeting you here."
“Whatever girl, I never loved you anyway.”



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

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