1. You go to the market and the tomato you used to buy for 100 naira is now six hundred naira.
2. And processed tomato paste starts to look like bae.
*closes all the webpages warning of dangers of tin tomatoes*
3. When you go to a party and at the entrance they write, No Ankara, no Jollof rice.
Will I now go back to my house?
4. Or the only jollof rice available is for people that bought lace.
Sai Baba must hear this.
5. You see are watching a video about beauty tips and you hear, “Slice one tomato and rub it on your..”
Beauty is not by appearance, it’s from the inside abeg.
6. When she says, “My name is Toyin but you can call me Toyin Tomato”.
7. You see someone tweeting about their sweet jollof rice, but you know it is actually palm oil rice.
Who is this one deceiving?
8. Meanwhile, Ghanaians are looking at Nigerians right now like.
Because now their Jollof is better.
9. And in all this, fried rice is just like.
Forgive us for not declaring our love every time.
10. You research and discover that most of the tomato in the north has been destroyed by pests and diseases.
11. And then you hear one foolish person saying Nigeria should split.
You want to split but common tomato, you cannot provide.
12. You check social media and you see someone saying the tomato price is because of fuel scarcity.
This scarcity is proof that tomato is good for the brain.
13. Then you start to wonder who you and your country offended that you have back to back problems.
One day e go better.