Superman is one of the most powerful superheroes in comic history, but we re-imagined him as a Nigerian child growing up
1. The only way his power can be discovered is when they give him slap.
Chop igbati.
2. And the thing breaks their hand, instead of his self-esteem.
What sort of son is this?
3. So they sit down and give him that talk that will make him wish he could feel pain.
You think its me you’re doing. You’re doing yourself.
4. And then praise the Lord for the gift of Superman’s power.
Lord thank you for the gift of Akpan.
5. Because he automatically becomes car washer, houseboy, plate washer, laundry man etc.
Have you washed the road?
6. That one time he’ll want to leave the plates he is washing to watch his favourite show, but they say he should watch from there.
Because, X-ray vision.
7. When someone in your school insults him with “Your father!”
You will go and meet your grandfather today!
8 And then the teacher flogs him with cane, but it breaks.
Odeshi.
9. And when his mother says “Go and bring my car from the mechanic.”
Good boy.
10. And he says “Mummy there’s traffic.”, but she has the perfect reply.
I carried you for 9 months, just carry it for a few minutes.
11. When she says goodnight, he quickly flies to Elegushi.
Turn up.
12. And comes back before morning, just because he has home training.
It’s time for morning prayer.
13. But when he finally finds bae and she says he’s not man enough.
My friends call me Okoro iron-bender.
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