It sucks to be Nigerian right now. You’re almost certainly worried about something, whether it’s electricity or forex, or bombs, these are some challenges we face as Nigerians right now:
1. When you’re calculating exchange rate every day because the Naira is slowly turning to tissue paper.
Was exchange rate not 200 naira per dollar yesterday?
2. Waiting till the next day for torentters to upload every new episode of your best show, because Nigerian cable won’t show you live.
Dear Cable service, Y u no give me fresh episodes but you collect fresh money?
3. When you’re doing masters degree in The Abroad and your parents cannot send money because Forex.
And everybody thinks The Abroad is pinging for you.
4. When Linda Ikeji’s handbag is worth 4.8 million naira but the milk in your garri is not enough.
What is this life?
5. When you want to buy tomato at the market and they say the price has increased because of exchange rate.
The farm in the backyard must be from The Abroad, no?
6. And the price of everything has increased but your salary stays the same.
No justice in this life.
7. When you’re about to leave work and you’re calculating how long you will spend in traffic.
May the force be with you.
8. When you leave traffic and you’re wondering whether today is your turn on the roster to have electricity.
One day on, 3 days off.
9. Then you try to buy generator the next day but the price of electronics has shot up.
*goes to buy kerosene inside lantern*
10. When you’re just on your own and your bank decides to debit you for reasons even they don’t know.
On top how much?
11. When you’re scared to go to the market because a bomb might just go off.
God please I still want to live.
12. When you have to start begging God to pick up the call because it’s like the government’s phone number is switched off.
UAE does not have two heads.