1. When you realise Ramadan is less than 5 days away.
Wow. I still remember last year like it was yesterday.
2. And you don’t even know if you’re ready but you’re excited anyway.
3. Then you start to question whether you’re excited for the fast or for the food when breaking.
Oh God, forgive me.
4. But you stock up on food for the month anyway.
One bag of rice please.
5. Binge-eating at all your favourite day-time restaurants.
Because no more for another month.
6. You start to re-download your good-Muslim apps and dig up your once-a-year books.
Erm, where do I start reading from?
7. When people start preparing to recycle their ‘a date every night’ and other overused jokes from last year’s Ramadan.
Can we please just “Subhana Rabbika” on these jokes please? Forever?
8. You start assessing which of your friends will make your Ramadan easier.
Please I don’t want to do bad bad things this month.
9. And then you hear that Quilox night club is shutting down for Ramadan.
Chayii. No more turn up.
10. But wait first, what is a night club?
God forbid all those places.
11. And the “Where has the moon been sighted that you want to start fasting?” wars.
Can we all start, together?
12. And finally, the first day of Ramadan.