Nigerian restaurants are a special experience. If you ever ate in one, you’ve experienced all of them. These photos should feel familiar.
1. When you see the waiter arriving with what you ordered.
2. And then he just walks past you.
Who did I offend?
3. When you’ve waited 30 minutes for your order and then someone comes to ask, “what do you want to eat sir?”
4. When you have to decide whether to stand up and leave or just wait it out.
Patient dog tinz.
5. When the menu says exotic Chinese rice and sauce but they put ordinary rice and stew in front of you.
6. When you finish drinking 50cl coke and they tell you its’s 700 naira.
Please gimme bottle lemme go and buy it back.
7. When you’re leaving the restaurant and you see the woman’s sweat landing inside the food she’s cooking.
Is that why the rice was salty?
8. And your mother hears you always eat from buka.
Because single women are not allowed to eat outside.
9. But you don’t even have a boyfriend.
Because you have gone to love yourself.
10. When you tell your mum you prefer buka stew to homemade stew.
11. When you walk into your favourite buka and that girl that gives you extra soup is not around.
You’re not the buka I used to know.