10 ridiculous one-liners all Nigerian suspects use in police custody

Nigerians hate to take responsibility for anything, like it is beneath us to fail. This accounts for why you never hear resignations from public officials when things go completely wrong under their watch.

Abba Looking


Or why new administrations spend half the time blaming the previous administrations for all their problems.

Buhari behaVE

If the highest models in our society can do this, then our criminals should probably not do that differently. Confessions are so hard to get from them, and even when they come pass the buck at every turn. So here are the most famous one-liners you’ll get from Nigerian criminals.

1. This is my first time.

Interesting. If by first time, you mean first time you’re getting arrested, that’s fine. Because hopefully it won’t happen again.


2. It is the work of the devil.

And even when you ask devil ‘how far?’, devil will be like, ‘did I force him?’

I told you


And sometimes, he’ll be like,


“Nah mehn, this is too much even for me”


3. I’m a graduate but lack of job opportunities pushed me into crime.

We empathise, because the way this country is set up, it pushes you to do strange things. But the people that didn’t rob, do they have two heads?

kanye shake head gif


4. Poverty pushed me into being a criminal.

Werk werk werk werk werk.


Poverty is not a good thing. Robbing people of their property is not a good thing either.


5. I’m only a driver, I don’t rob with them.

Okay, noted.

Taking notes


Oya say another one.


6. My job is just to keep bullets, I’ve never robbed or killed anybody.

Kanye seriously

And the bullet is for what? Playing hide and seek or for hunting fish?


7. I was forced into doing this.


They put gun on your head so you could put on other people’s head. Interesting.


8. I’m under a spell from the village.Odunlade upstairs

9. They told us we were going to party, I didn’t know we were going to rob.

Why you always lying


What about the gun in your pocket? Souvenir?


10. If I’m allowed to go now, I will never rob again in my life.



Next time? There will be no next time.



The Fu'ad

That go-to guy for different sturvs. Books and the Internet have taken him to Mars. He still loves his Garri with very cold water. Yeah, Content and Copy rock.

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: