Beards are nice and cool, until you start growing one, and you realise that the struggle is never ending.
1. Older people are complaining about your Boko Haram bear bear.
2. The first thing your aunt says when she sees you is ”shave that thing.”
Aunty is it disturbing you?
3. When you finish kissing a girl and she’s asking for toothpick.
Kuku take floss.
4. When you can’t lie about food because your beard will most likely hold evidence.
My beard ate it not me.
5. When you’ve done everything possible but your sideburns refuse to join your beard.
When will it join? Could it be this year or next?
6. When you comb your beard and it turns to koko after 10 minutes.
Can’t you just respect yourself?
7. How you feel when you tell your barber not to touch the beard, but he pinches one side
8. So you have to watch as he trims the other side of your face.
9. When some beard starts growing on your neck.
What is this thing turning me to?
10. But no matter how hard a time your beard gives, you can always look at your beardless friends as 14-year olds.
All your spirit and petrol pouring didn’t work out.