We found the one place Kenyans stash all their dirty, dirty secrets

Got a secret you’d like to get off your chest? Be Kenyan.

A website in Kenya has found a way to help people hide your dirty secrets in the open.

When we checked it out, the secrets we found were mind blowing;

1. When you make 50 Shades of Gray look like child’s play.

My wife (16 years, 4 kids) and I have 2 toy-girls that we’ve been having escapades with for 7 years together! Wife has a thing for girls and since we agreed early on when we started dating, we get to have fun together when we want to spice things up. Never thought we’d both relieve our fantasies over and over.. Trust, communication & an open mind is what it is.

PeteEneh

2. When the people following you from the village made it into your bedroom.

I shit myself every time I have sex with my wife I feel horrible.

Chris Tucker facepalm

3. There is such a thing as Kenyan demon too.

I lie to women about my age just to get them in bed with me. I’m actually 19, not 26.

kanye shake head gif

4. When the bros ain’t loyal.

I’m screwing my colleague’s wife whom I helped to get a job in a place because I know the madam.

Kanye seriously

5. When the people doing you from your village are deceiving you that it is catarrh.

I have a fetish for women panties. I would smell my wife’s panties when she removes them in the evening.

Kanye meme

6. When you travel to the past to arrange your future.

I am dating an ancestor of 72, older than even my grandpa and he fucks me good and I love him to bits.

Shocked

7. We found a Nigerian too, but what we found is also very disturbing.

I’m in Lagos, Nigeria. I went to a guys house late at night after the club. We got in the house and started making out. I though it was fine until he held me down forcefully and wouldn’t let me move. He went under my skirt. I asked him, then pleaded with him to stop.He didn’t. So I convinced him that I really wanted to sleep with him so I wouldn’t be a rape victim.

gaze gif

8. This life is just one kain.

I won Lotto last year of 3 million. I live in a single room in Emba and always drink daily. No one knows, I lay low, sometimes my friends think I am broke ass but if they knew my value they would cry. I have fucked all their women and paid them handsomely.

Sad Chiwetel

9. And there’s a time bomb on the loose.

I’m a 19-year-old HIV+ and I’ve had unprotected sex with more than 17 guys. One of them was 54 yrs old, way older than my dad.

Johnny-Depp-panics

10. Brace yourself for impact.

I became sexually active at 19 and have slept with more than 30 men and I just turned twenty.

Surprised

 

Now, we have a poll;

[poll id=”16″]

And another one;

[poll id=”17″]

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