1. That time you went to a birthday party and the Aunty starts sharing Jollof rice.
Aunty I want more.
2. You go to a wedding and the waiters are taking forever to start serving the Jollof.
I didn’t leave my house for this nonsense please.
3. And when you see the waiter approaching you with Semo when you asked for Jollof.
What is this one doing?
4. And when the Jollof finally arrives.
5. You wait for your Christian neighbours to bring dish of Jollof to your house on Christmas day.
With fried chicken and sturvs.
6. Or your Muslim neighbours on Sallah day.
Of course, with the sallah meat.
7. When someone tells you that Ghanaian Jollof is better than Nigerian Jollof.
You must be mad.
8. How Nigerians react when someone says Jollof Rice is overrated.
You will die today.
9. When you don’t have bae but you have Jollof.
Because Jollof will never let you down. Jollof won’t give you no drama.
10. Jollof Rice that they didn’t make with firewood, is that one even Jollof?
Call it anything but Jollof.
11. That moment when you discover that Buddhist monks are great because their robes are Jollof in colour.
This is some zen philosophical shit.
12. Or that the most beautiful sunsets are also Jollof in colour.
Bless me with the juicy colour.
13. When you hear “the labour of our heroes past, shall never be in vain”. And you just know this is the person the anthem is speaking to.
14. When Nigerian Government has failed you over and over but you can always go back to Jollof because it never fails.
Because Jollof will never promise you change because it is already perfect.
15. That moment of Joy when you realise all the 250 different ethnic groups can agree that Jollof is the key to National Unity
Jollof for 2 thousand naira note!
16. And in the end you know that Jollof Rice is the key to world peace.
Long Live Jollof Rice.